Neverending Sorrow
by Broken8
Summary: Ken and Ran are together and very happy. However, that's about to be tested. Will there relasionship make it? Better yet, will THEY make it. KenxRan (later-Kenx?)
1. Questions and Flashbacks

Neverending Sorrow  
  
By: Broken8  
  
Disclaimers: I'll never own Weiss!!:'(  
  
Notes: //blah blah\\ are memories or flaskbacks, ((blah blah)) are dreams or nightmares  
  
Warnings: confusing, boring, poorly written, ...  
  
1. Questions and Flashbacks  
  
Ken stuggled to open his eyes when he finially awoke to the blinding light flooding his room. Wait this didn't feel like his room. He also felt cold. A shiver ran through his body. Ran, where was Ran? Probally in the shop already. No, something wasn't right, nothing felt right. God his head hurt. Prying his eyes open again he realized part of what was so wrong. He was in a hospital bed. Why was he here? What had happened? Where was Ran? Was he okay? So many questions and yet no answers came to him. Another question came to mind though. Why couldn't he remember? Well he wouldn't put up with this much longer. Lifting his head off the pillow pain shot through his body mainly specifying in his left leg. A cry of agony peirced the silent sterile walls of winding hospital corridores. He lay his head down instantly, scared of the pain that might come again. This motion caused a sudden shear pain but it died down quickly to a low ache. Eyes still hazy from the sudden simultaneous movements he watched two, three, four nurses stumble into the room. Eight eyes stared widely at the brunette as he struggled to put the pain aside long enough to find the answers to his never ending supple of questions.   
  
Gritting his teeth together he let out a slow breath. "Why am I here?" Again he tried to lift his head up but that was a mistake. Instantly he was hit with a wave of intense pain. Letting out another cry of pain he pressed his head into the pillow trying desparitly to clear the ache in his body. Just after his second yelp he was being force-fed sedatives by a nurse. He felt better after they started to work but he was still confused. Questions blurred, twisted, and formed inside his head again. He would try this again. "Why am I here?" No one said a word. Why wouldn't they tell him what was going on?   
  
"I think you need some rest sir," another nurse came up to him from the other side and stuck a needle in his arm.  
  
"I need... to... know..." Before he could say anything in his defence he slipped into unconsiousness.  
  
This time he woke up confused there was no light through that window except from the street lights in the parking lot. He remembered the pain that came from moving that morning and didn't try to sit up right away. Curiously he tryed moving his head to the side. When no pain comes he lifts his head slowly. Nothing. Think Dammit! He mutters sourly to himself. Cursing silently he gives up his quest for memories.   
  
The door creaked open startling Ken and making him jump slightly. A white figure drifted to the end of his bed and looked at the charts there. Without even glancing towards the sitting form on the bed he exited the room again. The brunette just stared after the doctor for awhile before shaking his head. What did he remember? Well he remembered everything that had happened a year ago.  
  
// "Ken, I... I think... I think I'm in love with you." after that Ken could only stare which made the usually bland eyes fill with pain and disappointment. "I'm sorry Ken I just couldn't keep from not telling you anymore it was killing me inside not to know what your reaction would be so I just had to..." He couldn't help himself. That man was so beautiful, espiecialy when he showed emotions in those wonderful amythest eyes. He had stood up and taken two steps towards the rambling man whose gaze was fixated on the floor. Placing his hand on the redhead's cheek was like an off button to his incoherent mumbling. Aya's head turned to look at the shorter man with confussion and longing written on the normally blank face. Ken couldn't stand it any longer. Bringing himself up to Aya's face he dove into the feelings he had wanted to experience for a long time now.\\ That's right, he remembered that, how could he forget. Three weeks after that evening they become lovers. He remembered alot but his memories end two months ago. What had happened that he can't remember and where is Ran now? If Ran cared so much like he knew he did why wasn't he here now? His head hurt from trying to find the answers. He needed help, he needed Ran. "Ran" a tear rolled down his cheek as he pictured his koi's beautiful, flawless face. Right now all he needed were those strong protective arms to make all his pain and confussion evaporate inside him. Sleep replaced ever tear that ran down Ken's face until he was entirely engulfed in the numbness that is slumber.   
  
Morning hit him like a sledge hammer, hard. Pain pulsed through his entire being. He couldn't quite decide what he would blame for his uncomfort. He knew that the reason he was here had something to do with it. He also knew that his head was pounding from the hours he had spent crying last night. If there were any loud noises right now the brunette knew his head would explode. Which was why the knocking on the door that started was torture. Instinctively Ken's hands flew up to hold his head. The creaking sound of the door opening sounded multiplied a thousand times. "Ken? Are you awake?" The voice boomed inside his head even though it was in reality not much louder than a whisper. It was also the softest of familiar voices. "Ken? Please wake up soon."  
  
"I'm awake Omi," He turned his head to looked into those shocked but happy eyes. There was something else in the blue orbs in front of him. Misery? Omi also looked as if he had been crying for days. "What's wrong? Why am I here anyway?" Omi's eyes started to well up with tears at the questions. As soon as the first of many tears hit the blondes cheek he was in Ken's arms, which hurt him but he had learnt to deal with pain and swallowed it for the time being. Omi cried for sometime before a nurse came in and stated that Ken needed rest and that he would have to come back. Just as the door closed behind the small assasin he remembered he never got answers to his questions. It'll have to wait untill later though. Omi would be back later, after all the time could only be about noon.  
  
"But he didn't remember," he didn't open his eyes and it was obviously a good idea becuase no one seemed to have noticed that he was awake.  
  
"That's what the nurses said too. Appairently he is suffering from minor amnesia. This is normal after a major surgery though. He should have his memory back by tomorrow," was this doctor talking about him? He had to be. After all this was his room and the other voice was Omi's.  
  
"Do you think he would remember sooner if we talked to him?" Yohji? Three people now. Please let Ran be here too, Ken pleaded with all his heart that the redhead be there and okay.   
  
"I don't know if that would work but I think it would be better to let him remember on his own. After all he has alot to deal with. Didn't you mention that they were lovers?" were? What the hell was that supposed to meen? What did he have to deal with? "Come on. I think we better let him sleep a bit longer." Three pairs of footsteps were heard walking towards and through the door, leaving Ken alone again to rest but this time he knew he wouldn't find any answers for the rest of the day and night.  
  
(("You have leukimia." The image of a doctor with sad eyes flashed before him. "You need a bone marrow transplant."  
  
"I'm the only matching donor! I care to much for you to not do this!" The picture changed to a yelling Ran and a crying Ken.  
  
"Your saying there is a good chance your heart might not be able to take the surgery?" Yohji was now asking Ran with a deep worry in his jade eyes.   
  
"That's right but please don't tell Ken. He would never let me go into surgery," thats was true. He wouldn't have let Ran go into surgery if he knew that.  
  
"Don't leave me Ran. Don't let them rip us apart. I don't ever want to leave you, please don't leave me." A single tear caressed Ran's cheek. Holding Ken tighter in his arms he admited to himself that he might not ever see the former soccer player who had brought so much joy back into his empty life again.  
  
"I'll always be with you Ken. I'll always be by your side. No matter what happens I'll be with you. I love you Ken nothing could keep us apart," rivers of tears cascaded down Ken's cheek and into the redhead's t-shirt.  
  
"I love you with all my heart Ran. Don't ever leave me."  
  
Ran was standing in his hospital room now. He was standing right beside Ken's bed. There was something wrong though. He saw Ran there but it didn't fell like he was really there.)) "Ran!" sitting up imediatly the frantic brunette scaned where his koi had been standing. No one was there. It had all been a dream but it had been something else too. Could it have been all his memories comimg back because he remembered it all now. He had been dignosed with leukimia and Ran had been a matching donor. The last thing he remembered was having to go into surgery. Ran had been in the next room also having surgery. He pushed back the covers and looked down at his leg. There was a scare on the inside of his left leg. Had Ran gotten amnesia after the surgery too and thats why they hadn't seen each other? Maybe the doctors didn't want him to see Ran because he hadn't been able to remember. He would definately talk to Omi or Yohji about this in the morning.  
  
~-~-~TBC?~-~-~  
  
Oh my god! What happened to Ran! *gasp*! Well that sucked. If you disagree with me or even if you agree with me please review this story. Trust me if I decide to continue this story it will get better. At least I hope so. You will never believe who starts to love Ken! Well you probally will because it's pretty predictable but after this chapter you won't. I'm not gonna say who it is though. I can be so evil.  
  
BTW I have no idea on how bone marrow transplants work or if people can get amnesia after a surgery but I'm gonna pretend that what I wrote is right for the sake of this fic. So don't beat me up about it okay? 


	2. Depressing Truth

Neverending Sorrow  
  
By: Broken8  
  
Warnings: Swearing, tears, not too much else I think  
  
Disclaimer: If I don't own Weiss then neither do you. humph.  
  
~*~*~ ~*~*~ ~*~*~ ~*~*~ ~*~*~ ~*~*~ ~*~*~ ~*~*~  
  
2. Depressing Truth  
  
Thin lines of light cressed the blankets covering the brunette. His eyes flickered open then closed again. Stretching his arms his fingers were tickled by caramel blonde hairs. Opening his eyes once again he looked down to see the sleeping figure of his best friend. Omi had probally come early this morning. That was kind but unnessesary. He was happy all the same though. Smiling he sat up and ran his fingers through the ruffles of soft locks scattered over his blanket. A shift in the little blonde and his breathing told Ken that his company was now awake. He removed his hand as the shortest assasin sat up.   
  
"Yohji?" Sleep was still obviously hazing his clairity.   
  
"No Omi, it's Ken," He couldn't help but smile at the cuteness the blonde was showing.   
  
Blinking a few more times the blonde's memories started to kick in. After regaining full consiousness Omi hugged the shocked but happy brunette. "Good morning to you too," chuckling softly he hugged his friend back.   
  
"Do you remember everything?" after those words dropped from the blonde the cheerful smile the brunette was showcasing dropped to reveal pain and suffering.   
  
"I... I don't want to talk about it," simply turning his head to the side put an end to that topic. "Where is Ran?" He couldn't help himself, he had to know right? Shock and tears filled huge blue eyes already red from continuious crying. "Omi, tell me where Ran is." Worry had snuck into his voice when he didn't get an answer the first time he asked the question. Shining streams of salty water flowed from the blue seas of Omi's face. Again there was no answer from the blonde who just threw himself on Ken again. This time Ken couldn't take it. Pushing the blonde back he repeated himself again this time with more force and pure worry. "Where is Ran?!?!" firmly gripping the little shoulders he drilled into the saphire eyes. Omi tried to look away but Ken shook him refusing to let the shorter man neglect answering again. "Tell me where my fucking bitch is! Omi! Tell me where Ran is!" Dammit. Ken cursed himself when Omi's choked tears turned into full out bawling. "I'm sorry," barely audible the brunette whispered an apololgy to his best friend. Once again Ken was forced to what to get answer, for the stressed out teenager had fallen fast asleep on his friends tear soaked chest. Hugging the poor kid to his chest he once again drifted into dreamland.  
  
Ken's eyes flittered open when someone moved the body on top of him. Yohji was trying to lifting Omi off of the soccer player. "Hi," Yohji was surprised by the sudden sound of a voice when he thought they were both fast asleep.   
  
"Ken," Yohji had let go of the blonde and had grabed hold of the brunette. He had never seen Yohji hug anyone in his life but here he was trapped in an unfamiliar embrace. "Thank god your alright. We've missed you alot. How are you feeling?" Ken had to smile at the worry in Yohji's voice and yet it made him a bit nervous at just how much worry was there.   
  
"I'm fine but how's Ran?" He wasn't smiling any more. He was frightened again. "Yohji, Where is Ran?" This wasn't funny any more. He was scared for his lover, he had know if he was alright. "Tell me where Ran is now Yohji!"   
  
He was just sitting there stareing at the brunette. He hadn't moved a muscle since he heard Ken's first question. He couldn't move, didn't know how to answer, what to say. "I... He... Ken... He's... He's..." The word wouldn't come out. He couldn't say it. Didn't want to admit it. Didn't want to break his friend's heart after it had been through so much. He saw the worry and consern flood Ken's eyes then over flow in the form of desperate tears. He couldn't take all the pain in those eyes, couldn't stand to add to it. without finishing his sentence Yohji just looked away from his crying friend.   
  
"He's Dead Ken," Two heads jerked to look at the little blonde who had entered the conversation.   
  
Rivers of tears soaked the blankets on Ken's lap. "No. It's.. It's not true. It can't be!" Shaking his head back and forth he repeated his same words. "It can't be true. It isn't. No. No. I won't believe it! This can't have happened! How did this happen!? It's not true. No. I won't believe it. I can't believe it. It's not true. No. NO!" His ranting had turned into screaming now. "NO!! NO!! IT'S NOT TRUE!!"  
  
"Ken, sch," Yohji had his arm around the screaming brunette now and had a crying Omi in his lap. Eventually Ken's screams secede only to be replaced by neverending crying. Once the brunette and the little blonde had both cried themselves to sleep Yohji carefully placed the brunette's head back on his pillows. Not wanting to wake the adorable man in his lap he carefully picked up the bishounen. Holding the small warm body close to his chest he whispered good night to the soccer fanatic and left the room dreading what would come with the dawn.  
  
Light seeped through his closed eyelids waking the sleeping brunette. His memories of the previous night washed over him flooding his brain with confusion, disbelief, and sorrow. Not knowing if his sudden memories were of a dream or reality he tried to remember what had happened last night. Interupting his train of thought Yohji opened the door. Ken only caught a glimps of worry on his face before it turned into relief.  
  
"Thank god your awake Ken. I need you to listen to me," not sure he wanted to hear what the blonde had to say he frowned slightly but nodded anyways. "Good, Ken do you remember what happened last night?" Questions now? He thought he only had to listen. Shaking his head slowly still frowning he stared at the jade eyes now showing flashes of annoyance and frustration. He could tell that Yohji didn't want to be here, he was most likely coaxed into it by a not quite innocent teenager. "Do you remember anything? Anything at all? Maybe a dream?" That dream thing he had remembered popped back into the front of his mind. He did remember something. Had that really happened?   
  
"I.. I think I remember... something," Yohji let out a small sigh. He was relieved that he didn't have to repeat the drama from last night. "He's... Is... Ran's..." Another sigh but louder was heard from were the tall assasin was sitting at the end of the bed.  
  
"That's, right. I'm... I'm sorry. Really Ken, I'm so sorry." Green eyes couldn't stand to look into the misery filling mahogany any longer. Averting his painfilled gaze to the floor he swallowed back a huge lump forming in his narrow throat. Feeling his eyes swell with salty water he turned his head away from the man sitting on the bed. He didn't know what to do or say but he knew that letting Ken see him cry was most likely not a very good idea. Warmth spread from the place were Ken's shakey hand had been placed on the silently weeping man. Yohji's head snapped up to see Ken blankly looking into his blurred eyes.   
  
"How?" the faint whisp of sound found it's way to Yohji's ear. He could see that in no way did Yohji want to answer that question. A new stream of tears cut down Yohji's pale face. This scene was very unfamiliar to Ken in that he had never seen Yohji cry in his life. Disperately begging him with his eyes he pleaded for the blonde to answer his question. "How did he...? Yohji? Please tell me," His voice came out as a hoarse stressed whimper. When Yohji still didn't answer he could feel his eyes swelling up with tears. Trying desperately not to cry he squessed his eyes tightly shut. This did no good for the tears he had been trying to hold back spilled out over his cheeks in streams of silvery white liquid. "Yohji! Tell me! I have to know! Yohji please! Please. I need to know," he said, his pleas getting gradually quiter. He fell forward into Yohji's arms and cryed. He tryed to not cry so loud or so patheticly but it didn't work. He had cracked the dam holding back his tears and there was no stopping them now. He couldn't just stop crying now that he was.   
  
He couldn't stand seeing Ken so hurt. It was tearing apart his heart. It was also hurting Omi to see him like this. He really couldn't stand seeing Omi hurt. He held the brunette as he cryed. Held him while the brunette mourned the loss that he couldn't except. He would have to explain everything to him sooner or later. So he disided to wait as long as possible before having it beat out of him by the brunette. He would make Omi do it but that wouldn't get anywhere fast, so it was all up to him. Well as much as Ken could handle at one time. As soon as Omi was up to explaining something then the job would definetly go to the small blonde. There were also Ken's memories. He figured that the brunette had some of it back but he knew that not a hundred percent was with him yet. He also figured that Ken just wanted to check that what might be his memories actually were. He held none of this frustration or stress on Ken. He knew that Ken was going through a lot of pain. Hell, even he was crying lately. He missed Aya alot too. No where fucking close to as much as Ken does or will but he still messed the man. Even he hadn't completely got his head around the fact that he would never be glared at so menacingly for smoking or sleeping in again. Or that he would never have as much security on missions as he use to. He hadn't ever realized how much Aya ment to him as part of his life.  
  
Yohji sat think on Ken's bed for a long time before realizing that the brunette had fallen asleep on his lap. Smiling slightly for the first time in weeks he placed the exhausted man back on his pillow and got up to leave the familiar hospital room. As quietly as he could he crossed the room to the door. He opened the door and almost ran right into his boyfriend. "Shh. Ken's asleep," He ushered Omi backwards so he had room to close the door behind him. Placing his arm around Omi they slowly made thier way out the double front doors of the hospital. Damn did they ever need good, long, uninterupted sleep. They walked close together as to stay warm from the cold nipping at thier bodies. Getting into the car they drove back to the house. It had been days since they had set foot in that house. They had been spending most nights at the hospital in case something happened to Ken. The nurses and doctors had been telling them to go home but they didn't want to leave Ken. What if he woke up and started freaking out. They couldn't be there fast enough. When they got home they resumed thier postion walking right beside one another into the house, up the stairs and into Yohji's bedroom. Omi made to go to his own room but Yohji needed him beside him that night. Needed the security of Omi in his arms. And so with a very faint, very small smile Omi entered Yohji's room. They didn't bother to change, they just got under the covers fully clothed in what they had been wearing with the exception of shoes and jackets. Once deep under the blankets they wrapped each other in thier arms to sleep. neither knew just how wonderful sleeping could be with the one you love so close to you. That night and for the first time in days they both fell asleep with small smiles on thier faces.  
  
~*~*~ TBC ~*~*~  
  
Not a great chapter but at least it's up. I still want reviews. The same threats stand. I dont get enough reviews I won't work on another chapter. I'm a very stubbern person. 


	3. Moving On Or Standing Still?

Neverending Sorrow  
  
By:Broken8  
  
Disclaimers: ... I'm not saying it agian. *crosses arms* hmph.  
  
Notes: ((thoughts))  
  
Warnings: not very good, boring(i really mean it), i could go on and on.  
  
A/N: I'm sorry about the wait. I'm sorry about dissapointing everyone. I'm sorry that none of my stories are good. I'm sorry that I always ask for reviews. I'm sorry about everything I've every done wrong in my life. Everyone happy now? I said I was sorry.  
  
3. Moving On Or Standing Still?  
  
"Nasty crap," the frustrated brunette growled under his breath. He knew if he didn't get some really food instead of this hospital crap soon he would die. Dumping his still basically full plate in the garbage he turned to go back to his bed. At least he had saved the water so he wouldn't die of thirst. Like a bolt of lightning an unexpected surge of pain flashed through him. Gritting his teeth he almost screamed in shock and pain. No matter how much it was hurting him he kept a level head and popped a couple pain killers in his mouth. Gulping the last of his water he could feel the pain also wash away.  
  
He hated when that happened. Every now and then a sudden flash of pain would wash over him. It was really painful. It made his head hurt almost as much as his heart. He felt almost normal most of the time. Whenever he started to think of Ran a little bit or even something that reminded him of his former lover he would be instantly depressed and remain that way for at least an hour before picking himself up again. Why did live always have to be so cruel? Sometimes Ken even thought that the gods really did hate him.   
  
"Knock knock. Anybody here?" He didn't even look up. He really hated this doctor. REALLY hated him. For no reason in particular, he just hated the man. "Is somebody still hungry?"   
  
((No somebody isn't.)) "I'm fine," He tried hard to at least sound pleasant. It didn't always work but at least he tried. "Are my friends here yet?" He wanted to talk to Omi and Yohji about getting him a new doctor.  
  
"I don't things so but I could check if somebody said the magic word," ((Oh hell no. He didn't not just tell me to say -the magic word-.))   
  
"Uh... that's ok, I'll wait for them to show up," He would not give in to that maniac and his -magic word-. Silently he prayed that the freak would leave now. ((And never come back.)) He added to his own musings. He grinned slightly at the thought of sharpening his buknuks on the man's skull. Suddenly remembering how thirsty he still was he turned to the insane doctor still reading his charts. "On your way out could you ask the nurse to bring in another glass of water?"   
  
The doctor put down the charts and looked up at Ken with a huge smile plastered to his face. "Do I have to remind you again?"   
  
"Huh?" What the hell was he talking about? Oh no. No, don't say it please don't say it.  
  
"Say the magic word," He said it. Damn it! What is it with him and 'The Magic Word'?   
  
"Please," There, happy. Damn polite freak of a doctor. A satisfied grin worked its way across the older man's face. He turned towards the door and left without another word leaving Ken very happy.   
  
"At least he didn't say 'please what' again," He mumbled as he leaned back into his pillows. A noise caught his attention and he turned to see a tall blonde lazily walk in. "Where's Omi?"   
  
"No hello? Glad to see you still care," Sighing he rolled his eyes at the normal Yohji remark.   
  
"I do care; I just care more about Omi. You didn't say hello either," Smirking he watched Yohji also roll his eyes.   
  
"Well hello. And Omi is talking to the doctor," That reminded Ken about his doctor fiasco.   
  
"Hello to you too. Can you guys change my doctor? I really hate this guy. He has a thing about the magic word. It creeps me out," A long stressed sigh was the reply from Yohji.  
  
"  
  
You've hated all the doctors so far!" That was a little harsh. He didn't hate every doctor.  
  
"That first doctor was out to get me I know it!" It was true that guy was out to get him. He did after all give him the wrong medication. So what if Yohji made some spelling mistakes and they got it wrong, it was still the doctor's fault.  
  
"Remember what you said about the second doctor?" Yohji started to grin like a maniac at bringing up Dr.Saunders. Ken however didn't find this amusing.   
  
"That doctor was a hentai. He kept demanding a physical. He only wanted to see me naked," Ken glared at Yohji to emphasize his hatred.  
  
"Ken, that was a couple days after your surgery. He wanted a physical to see if you had any problems from the surgery," Yohji kept grinning at Ken's angry and stubborn expression. He really was cute sometimes. He even had his arms crossed over his chest like a mad kid. "If you want a new doctor we'll get you a new doctor. He can't be that bad though,"  
  
Ken smiled weakly at Yohji's sudden kind behaviour. "Thanks Yohji. And he is," Both their attention was on the door that had opened to reveal a pouting and very upset Omi. "What is it Omi?"   
  
Omi glared at Ken for nothing in particular other than speaking. "I'm changing your doctor. He treated me like I was five. What the hell is his problem with 'The Magic Word'?! Sorry if you liked him Ken but I would not be able to stand him any longer," Ken turned a satisfied smile on Yohji who looked at the floor and shoke his head in defeat.  
  
"Actually Omi I just asked Yohji to change him too. He needs to talk to somebody about his -magic word- problem. It scares me," A big grin consumed Omi's face at this statement. "What? Did I look funny or something to you?" If possible Omi's smile grew at that.  
  
"It's nothing Ken," He didn't stop smiling though. It was as if seeing Ken talk like that was a rare phenomenon. It was really starting to disturb him.  
  
"Would you stop staring at me like that? What's the problem?" Omi grinned more but looked towards Yohji instead. Yohji was smiling too but not as wide as Omi, that's impossible.   
  
"It's just that you seem almost normal again. You're joking around and everything. We just missed you. You know, the real you," Ken had to raise an eyebrow at that. The real him? Omi most be on something.  
  
"Drugs aren't good for you chibi," Omi sighed and rolled his eyes but kept smiling. Yohji started to laugh slightly.  
  
"I'm not on drugs Kenken. I'm serious. You weren't you before. You were different," All he could do was roll his eyes at the short blonde.  
  
"How was I different? It's not like an alien invaded my body. Wait, is there something you guys aren't telling me?" He glared at Omi who rolled his eyes very dramatically and laughed like a little kid.   
  
"Well your almost you again. I think your on drugs though," Ken smiled and Yohji laughed.  
  
"Of course I'm on drugs. They've got a lot here you know. And I'm supposedly in a lot of pain," Omi started to laugh really hard at that. Yohji was already laughing but Ken's humour bumped it up a notch almost to hysterics.   
  
~-*~-*~-*~-*~-*~-  
  
Yohji closed the door quietly behind him and Omi as the left they're tired friend to rest. A sigh escaped the taller blonde. Omi looked at him questioningly. "Yotan?" the man addressed turned to smile down on his lover. Placing his arm lazily over the younger's shoulders he started to lead them both out to the car.  
  
Both blondes were quiet as they drove home. Thinking, mainly about Ken. Yohji let out another long sigh as they arrived home. "Yohji tell me what the problem is," He smiled down on the slightly worried teen. He really was cute when he was worried.  
  
Not wanting to upset Omi further he opted on telling him his thoughts. "It's just Ken. He may seem relatively fine right now but that's gonna change. Soon he'll be depressed again. After that he'll get better again but the depression will come back again and again and again and there isn't anything we can do about it. I just hate seeing him go through this," Maybe telling Omi what he was thinking wasn't the best idea he ever had. Tears had started to roll down his cheeks.   
  
"We won't let that happen to him. We'll get him on antidepressants and keep him in a happy mood." Yohji chuckled a bit at Omi's naivety. He really did have a childish outlook on things sometimes.   
  
Leaning down he kissed him on the cheek. "Omi, you know that won't work. Ken has to deal with this on his own. We'll help him as much as we can but you know that that won't be much. The death of a loved one is hard to bear. Especially when the deceased is the person you love most in the world," Leaning down again he kissed the shorter man full on the lips. They parted after a couple seconds and turned to head inside. Yohji's arm wrapped possessively around Omi's shoulders.  
  
~-*~-*~-*~-*~-*~-  
  
About 2 months ago (before Ken was diagnosed)  
  
~-*~-*~-*~-*~-*~-  
  
"Ken?" Surprised at the sudden intrusion of his thoughts he snapped his head up. Unnaturally warm violet eyes were looking down on him. He smiled weakly at his boyfriend. He loved how caring Ay-- Ran could be. They hadn't been together for very long at all. Still the looks Ran gave him were drastically different. Instead of being icy and uncaring they were warm and heart filled. Ken could never get enough of these looks. Fuck did he ever love this man. Of course these looks were only in reserve for him which made him love and appreciate them more.   
  
"I'm fine," he hated lying. Especially to Ran. He was being so kind and trusting and Ken was abusing that be lying. Ran turned to leave again with the glass of water he came in for in the first place. Stopping abruptly he turned back to look at Ken again. There was a splinter of a questioning look in his eyes that Ken had never seen before in his life.  
  
"Ken, have you eaten yet today?" Ran started making his way to the table were Ken was sitting. He stopped when he came to stand right above the brunette.   
  
The truth is that he wasn't even really that hungry. He hadn't thought about eating yet and it was already 11:30. "Uh... No, not yet. I'm not that hungry," Ran, who had turned to get food from the fridge and wasn't looking at him anymore turned around to look at him. There was something of a mix between surprise and confusion in those beautiful violet eyes.   
  
"Are you feeling alright?" Ran was definitely shocked to say the least. Ken usually ate the most. More than even Yohji. Leaning down so he was eye level with the kawaii brunette he placed his hand under the fringes of brown that constantly littered his forehead. Ken was a little warmer than usual but he wasn't really burning up.   
  
He really had to smile. His lover could be so adorable. He cared so much and showed it only when no one else was around. It was great that the frozen leader had warmed up, even if it was just to him. He loved it all the same. The care in those eyes was enough to make him stare all day and all night. His live really was great now. He prayed to the gods that nothing would change and he could be happy for the rest of his life.  
  
~-*~-*~-  
  
TBC  
  
~-*~-*~-  
  
Well damn. This didn't turn out well did it. *sigh* oh well. It's up. It's there. People can stop throughing rotten tomatos now ok? Please. It can't be that bad right? Well review if you liked. Then again bad reviews are alot better than tomatos. 


	4. Fatigue

Neverending Sorrow  
  
By: Broken8  
  
Notes:~~~ small setting change  
  
A/N: Since at the end of the last chapter I didn't actually end the flashback It's on going. The way I'm doing this is I   
  
started the story after Ken's surgery. Now I'm going back and explaining everything that happened before and up to the   
  
surgery. Ya confusing I know. Well at least try to understand it for my benefit okay?  
  
Sorry if the POV is really confusing. I just change back and forth and everywhere between characters as it seems fit. So, sorry.  
  
4. Fatigue  
  
Once again Ken was shown just how great his life was. He couldn't help the huge grin on his face as he got ready for   
  
his Saturday practise. Ran said that he would come too. He really wanted it to be time to go already. Life was great.  
  
He tried to pull on his shorts, a little too hastily however because he started to fall over. The only thing that stopped him   
  
from hitting the ground was two strong arms. It still amazed him how wonderful it felt to be wrapped in those arms. Ran   
  
pulled him up again but didn't let go right away.  
  
He looked up into twin amethysts. Ken knew the look there, it was some kind of a mix between love and.. hunger. He was proven   
  
right when Ran brought their mouths together.  
  
Every kiss they shared took Ken's breathe away. Both metaphorically and literally. It was something Ken never wanted to lose.  
  
They broke apart after a couple seconds and Ken found himself already missing it. He couldn't help it, he grinned, like a   
  
maniac.  
  
Ran smiled. A real smile. He couldn't get used to them. Never would. They were so rare after all. Well, maybe not now that   
  
they were together but he still never saw them if they weren't alone. It took a lot to get Ran to smile while someone else   
  
was around but it had happened before. It was a few days ago. Ken had been watering the flowers and daydreaming about Ran's   
  
cooking. (Hey, it was really good.) Whenever Ken daydreamed he ended up over watering, or cutting himself with the pruning   
  
shears or not giving the right change to customers. So like normal he started to create a puddle. Omi had just come home from   
  
school and offered to take over for Ken for a bit. The brunette hadn't realize he had made such a mess and when he went to   
  
hand the hose over to Omi he slipped in the water. Instead of falling right away he ended up sliding for a bit and running   
  
into the poor blonde chibi. Both of them went crashing to the floor. Normally this wouldn't have made Ran smile but what   
  
happened next did. After the two on the floor had stopped saying how much it hurt they looked at each other and laughed. They   
  
laughed. It was such an infectious laugh and they were so both so cute right then that Ran didn't have a choice but to smile   
  
a little. Only a little though. And it was still just for Ken.  
  
A light blush tinted Ken's cheeks as he looked down from Ran's eyes to his chest. "We.. We should.. ah.. get.. get going,"   
  
Ken hated how he blushed so much and stammered when he talked sometimes. Ran loved it all.  
  
"Right. If we don't hurry you'll be late," Ran dropped his arms from around Ken. Ken did the same from around Ran. Sighing   
  
slightly Ken picked up his duffel back then turned to grab the bag of balls. Ran's hand stopped his then grabbed the bag   
  
itself. Ken blushed again then growled at himself. A hint of smile played across Ran's features.   
  
"Do you wanna take you're car there or should we talk my bike. It would probably work better to walk though," He wanted to   
  
ride his bike with Ran so bad but that wouldn't work with the huge bag of soccer balls.   
  
"Lets walk," Grabbing their coats and shoes they left for the park.  
  
~~~  
  
Before long Ken was instructing his soccer chibis and Ran was sprawled out under a tree just off of the field. It was a   
  
beautiful summer day and the sun was having just as much fun playing on Ken's skin, as the soccer kids were chasing the black   
  
and white ball. Ran was planning on coming every Saturday from now on. The smile Ken always had and the way he'd join in   
  
every now and then was enough to bring him back every weekend till the end of time.  
  
~~~  
  
It was disappointing for everyone when the class was over. Ken waved goodbye to all of the kids and their parents before   
  
running over to the tree Ran was lounging under. He lazily flopped down beside the redhead. He was surprisingly tired. Those   
  
kids sure took alot out of him. He laid down under the shade simply enjoying the day. Ran turned over beside him. He looked   
  
over to the older man now on his side facing him. His smile got even bigger if it was at all possible.  
  
He watched still smiling as Ran leaned down to kiss him. His hand moved from under his head to behind the other's neck. His   
  
other hand found a place on Ram's shoulder. Ken was breathless be the time they broke apart. Again he smiled. His life should   
  
be able to be this good.  
  
Ken sighed, he still had to clean up the soccer balls. He didn't want to move. The grass was so comfortable and Ran was still   
  
on top of him.  
  
"Nani?" Ken looked up into Ran's stunning gaze. He couldn't look long though so he looked out into the field.  
  
"I've got to clean up still," Ken glanced back to Ran. The redhead made a small sound that could have been past off as a   
  
sigh. Ran rolled off of him and back onto his back.  
  
Ran put his hands behind his head. "Good luck with that," he said, not a hint in his voice that would say that that was   
  
supposed to be his idea of teasing or joking around. Ken laughed, he understood. Playfully he punched his koi in the side.  
  
"I'll be back. And when I get back you better make it up to me for not helping," He glared but smiled at the same time. It   
  
was supposed to be an evil smile but it just looked cute. Ken couldn't look evil. Not even while shreading people with his   
  
claws. Ran couldn't help but smirk.  
  
"Don't worry Ken. I'll make it all up to you. In fact you might have to make it up to me tomorrow," Personally he thought he   
  
was good at teasing the brunette. No matter where or when, he could always get him to blush. Just like the blush he wore now.   
  
Deep red and looked on fire. Sort of like Aya's body right now, on fire.  
  
//Damn! Why did Ran always have to say things like that. He knew that it turned him on.// "I'm.. uh.. gonna go.. clean up   
  
now," Still blushing Ken ran off to gather up the stray balls.  
  
An evil thought came to Ken. If Ran was going to continue to purposely turn him on he'd do the same. Although he couldn't   
  
ever do that to Ran on purposes. Except for one thing, soccer. Ken came to the first of many balls. A quick look over his   
  
shoulder to make sure Ran was watching and he went to work. Swiftly he kicked the balls into the air and started to juggle it   
  
on his ankles and knees. With such ease he bounced it off of his chest then down to his feet again not once letting it touch   
  
the ground. Powerfully and with the same ease he launched the sphere into the air and jumped up to follow it. Flipping over   
  
in the air his foot connected with the ball to send it speeding into the waiting net. He landed properly not hurt at all   
  
except for the slight pain from his contact with the earth. Grinning he stood up and turned to look at the expression on   
  
Ran's face. Instead of seeing his koi he started to feel light headed and simply drained of every last drop of energy he   
  
held. Before he fell towards the ground he managed to right himself slightly and position a foot beneath himself.  
  
"Ken!" He heard Ran before he saw him. The redhead had rushed to Ken's side the second he had started to fall. "Ken, are you   
  
okay?" Ran put an arm around Ken's waist to help him stand.  
  
He was really tired. More so than he should be. Ran was the only thing between him standing, and falling.  
  
"I'm... I'm just a little tired. I'll be okay," Ken stuttered. Still holding on to his koi with all of his strength he   
  
probably wasn't very convincing.  
  
"A little? Ken you nearly passed out." He wasn't going to argue, that would just make Ran angry. "I'm going to call Yohji. He   
  
can pick us up."  
  
"Why? It's only a couple blocks away. That's nothing to walk." Then again, arguing is what makes life interesting.  
  
"There is no way I'm going to make you walk home this tired. Yohji most likely isn't doing anything progressful anyhow." Ken   
  
couldn't help but to smile. He loved it when Ran cared about him so much. It made him feel wanted, cherished, loved.  
  
~~~  
  
With such gentle guidance from the elder they walked together to a bench by the entrance to the park. Once they were seated   
  
Ran placed an arm around the brunette's shoulders. Ken blushed and smiled, then leaned against the warm body. Within seconds   
  
he was sound asleep against the redhead who smiled down on him.  
  
Yohji pulled up after ten minutes or so.  
  
"What took you so long?" Ran glared at the blonde.  
  
"Omi wouldn't let go." Yohji smirked at his words. They held multiple meanings. He wasn't sure which ones the leader of Weiß   
  
would catch onto though.  
  
"Hn," was Ran's only reply. He had been curious about the type of relationship the two blondes held. Now he figured the   
  
truth, they were sleeping together. Or at least fooling around.  
  
Ken sighed in his sleep and nuzzled deeper into Ran. A small smile played on the redhead's features. Gazing down upon the   
  
sweet brunette he tightened his arm around his precious koi.  
  
Yohji grinned widely at the sight of them together. He really did like to see them both so happy. It made him feel more and   
  
more in love with his own koi. Gods did he ever love the chibi.  
  
"You wanna come home? You could always wait for him to wake up first. I wouldn't mind going home alone for a bit longer.   
  
After all, Omi can keep me company till you decide to come home." His smile turned seduceful again without him thinking about   
  
it. Just the thought of the small blonde boy, naked.  
  
Ran sighed. "You and Omi can do whatever you want even when me and Ken are home too. Just not as loud." A smirk twisted on   
  
his lips. Yohji's jaw dropped slightly. Teasing people really was fun. "I'll carry Ken. You open the door."  
  
He didn't want to move from their cozy embrace but it would be warmer once they got home. Maybe a lot warmer if Ken had some   
  
energy later.  
  
Gently he shifted the small brunette boy and lifted him off the bench. He could never get over how light Ken was. Somehow he   
  
seemed especially light tonight. Not just tonight for that matter. Ken most have lost a lot of weight recently.  
  
He placed the boy in the back seat then climbed in himself. Immediately the brunette clung to him again. And grunted with satisfaction, and annoyance for leaving him. Ran chuckled a little at his adorable Ken. Yohji stared at the redhead. //Chuckling? Smiling? JOKING?! Ken did something to him. Did a LOT to him.//  
  
Shaking his head slightly at the thought of Ken balancing a ball on his nose and Ran rolling on the floor in hysterics. He turned the key and stepped on the gas. Within seconds they were in front of the Koneko again.  
  
Just as carefully as before, Ran picked up his koi and carried him into the house.  
  
"What was wrong with Ken-kun?" Omi questioned, worry evident in his voice.  
  
"Nothing Omi. Don't worry. He's just tired." Ran tried to give Omi a half smile but it was a bit less then half.  
  
"Ran, don't work him too hard as soon as he wakes up. Take it easy." Yohji was smiling his flirty smile as Ran glared at him.  
  
"Only if you and Omi keep the noise down." He kept his face bland, it was difficult though. Omi and Yohji's jaws dropped. Ran joking was hard enough to take. But joking about sex was beyond that.  
  
Ran turned towards the stairs and headed up to his room, Ken still sleeping in his arms. Only when he opened the door(with some difficulty considering Ken's size) did he let a smile dance on his lips.  
  
Slowly he set the brunette soccer player down on the mattress. Ken groan and scrunched his forehead. Leaning down Ran claimed his lover's lips lightly. When he pulled away Ken let out a small sigh but slept on. With only feathery touches he managed to peel off most of the brunette's clothes. Only remaining were his boxers, littered with images of soccer balls, of course.  
  
Undressing himself quickly Ran joined the brunette in their bed. As soon as he was settled Ken turned over onto his chest. The soccer lover really couldn't get enough of him. He loved it. He loved him. Taking in a deep breath he pulled the younger man closer to his body. He loved times like these. Times were he could hold the sweet man until they fell asleep. He loved Ken. Case closed.  
  
~-*~-*~-*~-*~-*~-  
  
TBC  
  
~-*~-*~-*~-*~-*~-  
  
That was a short, sucky chapter. I'm sorry. Review anyway, please? Pretty please? 


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